another moral hangover. fuck.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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