I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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