i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
