Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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