Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
vagina is talking i cant
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
