So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
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