We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
