If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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