So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
He literally asked permission to hit on me
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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