i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
