Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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