You smell like a Billy Joel song
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo