i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
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Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well