i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
