I got chris browned last night
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
