im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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