In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
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I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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