Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
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