I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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