I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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