I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
BRING THE BAGELS
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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