she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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