all she had left on were here heels. phone five
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
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