I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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