you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
