The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
