It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
