I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
