Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
