i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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