just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
