Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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