Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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