went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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