mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
she pinky promised me she was 18
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
