Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I've blown a few things in my day
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
