hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Randomize