Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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