hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
