Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
