Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
