The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
