No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
