On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
