Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
this hospital has no fireball
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
