she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
