Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
