Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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