well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize