so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
