I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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