sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
two words...techno handjob
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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