i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
