she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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