i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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