So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
