why didn't you poke me back
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
