there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize